The build up to the holidays can be stressful without any extraneous situations. With all my might I tried not to be negative during the week before Christmas, but many forces conspired against me.

Twenty-five years ago when faced with a 30-page paper on my management style, I quit graduate school. All these years later, I know how I manage and could whip it out in short time.

Over the weekend, I read Are you casting a shadow? by Anna Farmery at The Engaging Brand. Her leadership tip [...]]]>

Twenty-five years ago when faced with a 30-page paper on my management style, I quit graduate school. All these years later, I know how I manage and could whip it out in short time.

Over the weekend, I read Are you casting a shadow? by Anna Farmery at The Engaging Brand. Her leadership tip was against micro managing but it’s a proven method for great team accomplishments. She wrote:

So why do we look for talent and then watch every move they make…we are just casting a shadow and blocking out the light that will help them develop. Plant the ideas then stand back to let them grow. You will see or hear when they need watering and feeding.

You have to like and trust people to implement this management style. To let someone have control of an effort which you deem important is difficult. Quite frankly, I only realized it when I became burnt out when running an organization. I wanted other people to help. My tendency has always been to do things my own way. But I couldn’t do it anymore and let go, which created amazing results.

Now I’m a convert.

In my Cub Scout Pack, my team of leaders brainstorm at meetings and then flood our inboxes with ideas. They’ve been planning the best activities we have ever offered with enthusiasm, fun and … even a pirate costume.

I keep saying that I need to get out of the way and I do. However, as a manager you need to know when to “water and feed”.

• I step in when we have already tried something and it failed. Sometimes you need to pass on your experiences. However, I always frame the difficulties in such a way as to invite solutions. Even though a method has failed doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed and improved.
• When there are different viewpoints and suggestions, the leader needs to step in and make the decision to set the course. A leader has to have a sense as to what will work best and a solid ability to articulate the decision.
• Of course the leader steps in when no one else is actually getting the job done to provide the needed direction and instruction.

But for the most part, I just let them run with it all.

Are there other times to water and feed?

When I was in eighth grade, my teacher said I was cynical. As an adult, I don’t think it’s such a bad quality.

In today’s age of constant, on-the-spot, media coverage by both professionals and every guy on the street, we are bombarded with “news”. [...]]]>

News might be Fast but is it Dependable? Let's be Reasonable.

When I was in eighth grade, my teacher said I was cynical. As an adult, I don’t think it’s such a bad quality.

In today’s age of constant, on-the-spot, media coverage by both professionals and every guy on the street, we are bombarded with “news”. The breaking headlines on CNN and Twitter capture people’s attention. I’m always shocked at how completely people believe the details and instantly empathize.

“Is this true?” is always the first question in my mind. I can’t stop myself.

A few years ago I spent two weekends in an Episcopal Church workshop exploring my “gifts”. When discernment topped the list, I was surprised. I’d never heard of it. As we researched the results, I scoffed at God putting people on earth to discern good from evil, identify “false prophets”, and protect his people. Could there really be a gift enabling you to determine if something is true or false?

My immediate reaction was that we don’t need this gift anymore. We have the Bible, right? It’s written. How on earth would this gift serve my church in this day and age? When was the last time you saw a golden calf being worshiped in your neighborhood? How ridiculous!

But then I started to think. I thought about a phone call I received from a parishioner would wanted to organize a blood drive at our church. Since I was outreach co-chair, he called me. I immediately had a terrible feeling while talking to him on the phone. Even though he had a well-thought out plan and had even considered the need for childcare during the blood drive, I was “against” him. It’s difficult to put it into words. Since this was church and we are supposed to love everyone, I felt awful. I couldn’t deal with speaking to him and handed the whole thing over to my co-chair. How guilty I felt for the reaction and my inability to accept this man.

A short time later an older woman in the parish recognized him as a child molester who had grown up in our church and served time in prison. He had just been released. Our parish had to deal with how to handle his presence and even met with the bishop about it.  He could hear the word but we needed to protect people.

At the time I only fleetingly thought about my strong reaction to him. I didn’t give it much weight. Now I pay attention to these “reactions” to people and situations. I accept my nature to take a step back and not get carried away in new situations. Maybe I’m just made this way.

With all the constant interactions online, we need to force ourselves to take a cynical look at “news” and discern if it is true or false. I believe we all have this gift to observe and consider before reacting.

My fear is we will become so detached that we won’t care when we should. If we are unable to develop a personal system for determining if reports are false, we’ll ignore all reports. I hope we all have a good dose of discernment to keep us true.

My son was born with extensive food allergies which multiplied every time we fed him. In order to insure he was getting proper, balanced nutrients, I decided to restrict all our diets to the foods he could eat. One evening I served chunks of tofu on spaghetti. This was a low point of our culinary experience. My [...]]]>

My son was born with extensive food allergies which multiplied every time we fed him. In order to insure he was getting proper, balanced nutrients, I decided to restrict all our diets to the foods he could eat. One evening I served chunks of tofu on spaghetti. This was a low point of our culinary experience. My husband and I often refer to it. The meal became a turning point for the major change needed in our eating habits.

If I hadn’t insisted on experiencing what my son was facing for the rest of his life, I might not have realized how restrictive his diet was and done all the hard work to create new recipes.

Sometimes, in order to really serve someone, you have to live their life.

I don’t know how you can effectively lead a service organization unless you know what it really means to walk in the shoes of the people you are serving.

When I interviewed Montgomery County Councilmember Michael Knapp for an award video , he asked me to consider the difficulties of someone experiencing homelessness. They often have to keep appointments, get counseling, and work a  job. They do all these things without a home. We often struggle through the same tasks in our busy lives with a home. Housing First strives to house people then provide services. With a stable living environment, they can finally pull their lives together. It seems simple but for years the philosophy has been to house people only after they completed certain requirements which was difficult to do when homeless.

Imagine having to decide between picking up food to feed your family or losing your wages. Our local food distribution center finally expanded their hours so people don’t have to choose anymore. Losing part of your salary to pick up food doesn’t help you stay ahead of your financial difficulties. People struggled for years to make their pick-up times during regular work hours. No one would want to be put in this situation, yet it occurred.

If you work for a service organization, you need empathy for the people you serve. You need to consider each moment of their days. If you can’t experience their lives, you need to be approachable and regularly talk at length to them about simple everyday tasks. Make sure the system’s not blocking their success and path to a better life.

Now when we put tofu on spaghetti, it’s marinated with peanut butter, soy sauce, honey, curry and scallions, a much better meal.