While helping businesses and organizations through my newly-founded company, Online and In Person, LLC, I often talk about creating an online community to [...]]]> With Father’s Day on Sunday, I couldn’t stop thinking about my dad who died 23 years ago. In particular, I found myself thinking about his business, Community Service Station. His father had named the business “Community” and for decades it proved to be an extension of their friendships and involvement in our township.

While helping businesses and organizations through my newly-founded company, Online and In Person, LLC, I often talk about creating an online community to mirror the real life community of a business or organization. I emphasize that today’s social media marketing centers on community. To me, these aren’t idle words. Over the weekend I found myself comparing real life examples from my father’s business to interactions on Facebook pages.

1. People want to feel connected.

Community Service Station was a business but it was also a social hangout. Even the minister would spend time there (much to my grandmother’s chagrin). Most of us fill up the tank once a week or so. We are regulars at the gas station. My father’s customers would park and spend time sitting or standing around the office. Everyone knew each other and friendships developed.

Facebook creates a social space in much the same way where people can gather even when they aren’t doing business or supporting an organization. With Facebook they can check in to a place page (and eventually will be able to use the new Deal feature when it is offered). A Facebook page creates a place for a community to develop. Rockville Central, which I co-manage, is an excellent example of a Facebook community which means quite a lot to us.

2. People have a need to communicate with each other.

When people hung out at my father’s service station, they inevitably discussed every news story and local happening. When I met his regulars, they always knew what I was doing too.

On Facebook people comment or answer questions in much the same way. Even though they might not be friends on Facebook, they get to know each other and respond to each other. You can always stop by and comment and discuss a topic of interest while seeing who else is talking about a certain subject. People want to know what’s going on and share their opinions both in real life and on Facebook.

3. People want information

My dad obviously shared all sorts of information and answered many questions. Most of all he gave directions to people who were lost. These were not customers. Since he was situated off a ramp from the Lincoln Tunnel, these requests were never-ending and demanded a great amount of his time.

You share when using the social networks. On Facebook, businesses and organizations provide links, posts, and explanations to demonstrate their expertise without an expectation of compensation.

4. Businesses shouldn’t be afraid of humor

Take a look at the picture for this post. A newspaper article was taped onto my father’s desk “Boss George Goes Batty”. He loved to fool around and play practical jokes. He taught me that if I wanted to dish it out, I had to take it. Customers stopped in for a good laugh daily and he would play along. Community Service Station was a lively place for many men in my hometown.

On Facebook, you often post funny pictures, jokes, and amusing articles. These light-hearted links are a good break from your work or boredom. Sharing funny instances is one of the main uses of Facebook. Successful business owners and organizations show their lighter sides. Their pages run fun content and creative photos with a personal touch.

5. People like to volunteer and help.

My dad’s business was a work-study site for our high school. He hired young men and successfully trained them to be able to hold a job. Many of these boys didn’t even know how to look someone in the eye or shake hands. My father stepped up and dedicated the time. He always offered his property for car washes for local groups too. Signs and fliers were everywhere.

Businesses often “give back” to the community. After organizing service projects, Facebook brings people together to volunteer. Posts and events provide ways for customers to invite other like-minded friends to join them and increase the good in the world. Facebook is the modern day version of a flier on a telephone pole.

When I advise businesses and organizations on using social networks, I have my dad’s terrific example in my mind along with a good understanding of the importance of community. This background is combined with the technical know-how of successfully administering a Facebook page. To me, they fit together quite naturally. I help others feel the same.

Months after our vacation to Acadia National Park, I’m still struck by the astounding beauty of the rocky shorelines and mountain peaks. But another thought has grown in my mind and brought me to action.

During one of our tours, the guide explained that over the years Acadia National Park was pieced together with donations of property. One individual gave away 4,000 acres of this prime real estate.

The wealthy bought this property for their own use. [...]]]>

Months after our vacation to Acadia National Park, I’m still struck by the astounding beauty of the rocky shorelines and mountain peaks. But another thought has grown in my mind and brought me to action.

During one of our tours, the guide explained that over the years Acadia National Park was pieced together with donations of property. One individual gave away 4,000 acres of this prime real estate.

The wealthy bought this property for their own use. Far from civilization and unique to the East Coast, the mountain views of the Atlantic Ocean were unsurpassed. During the 1800′s expansive hotels were built close to the shorelines. If people had not given the land away, one can only imagine the developed sprawl which would have been built. Those hotels from 200 years ago are large, even by today’s standards.

So why to you give away 4,000 acres? That’s a lot of property and a lot of money.

For some this public purpose to save this pristine place for future generations trumped any future financial deals. All the donors would have had to love this place more than their wealth. Perhaps for some, this was small potatoes compared to everything they owned, but it’s still a sacrifice.

Since we came home from vacation, my husband and I have made the largest one-time donation on record for our family. It felt good to give the money and I understood how it might feel to make a bigger donation. We could make a difference. This isn’t anywhere near what we dream of doing, but it’s a first step as I aspire to give away my 4,000 acres.

I can’t help by feel overwhelming appreciation for all the people who made Acadia a reality as its beauty still lightens my spirit and their generosity challenges my selfishness.

Yesterday I had the honor of attending the ribbon cutting for an apartment building. A nonprofit organization was able to purchase a vacant, foreclosed property in a neighborhood suffering from blight and renovate the building to provide homes for four families experiencing homelessness. Not only was this small apartment building going to help the four families, it  could also begin to improve conditions on the street and eventually turn things around for the whole neighborhood.

One of [...]]]>

Yesterday I had the honor of attending the ribbon cutting for an apartment building. A nonprofit organization was able to purchase a vacant, foreclosed property in a neighborhood suffering from blight and renovate the building to provide homes for four families experiencing homelessness. Not only was this small apartment building going to help the four families, it  could also begin to improve conditions on the street and eventually turn things around for the whole neighborhood.

One of the new residents attended the ceremony and was able to see her apartment for the first time. She had been living in a shelter with her baby in a Pack ‘n Play next to her. The apartment was small, but it had been completely furnished by two local decorators who volunteered to bring the community together, collect items, and produce a fantastic-looking apartment.

The mom was overwhelmed when she saw the baby’s room. The darling pink draping and hanging toy were sweet. After being shown a trendy living room and fully-stocked pantry, she was emotional when she saw all the special details for her baby.

Now I find myself remembering my first pregnancy. My husband worked for the World Bank. When he had to go on an extended trip to Thailand, I felt very alone. Even though it was temporary, I couldn’t help but imagine how terrible it would be if he didn’t come back. We owned a nice little house. I had friends and family. Even with all this support, I couldn’t fathom being all by myself and having a child.

So I find myself thinking about how she must have felt to be alone in that shelter with a little one depending on her. I don’t really know what it feels like to have nothing I could call my own, to have my life filled with such uncertainty. But I saw what it felt like to walk into an apartment and be given a chance for a good, stable life because strangers cared enough to make it happen. The gratitude and love of that powerful moment was overwhelming.

The decorators put a sign in her bedroom window which said “Dream”. Now that she has the dignity of a home, she can.

Last week I spoke with elementary school students about homelessness. Every class I visit is always attentive for their “special guest” and our conversations can be an insightful treat. One second grade boy stopped me in my tracks when he asked “What would happen if there were no volunteers?” I find myself returning to his question every day.

When I first answered him, I spoke about the concrete tasks which occur each day. We wouldn’t have [...]]]>

Last week I spoke with elementary school students about homelessness. Every class I visit is always attentive for their “special guest” and our conversations can be an insightful treat. One second grade boy stopped me in my tracks when he asked “What would happen if there were no volunteers?” I find myself returning to his question every day.

When I first answered him, I spoke about the concrete tasks which occur each day. We wouldn’t have any meals to serve to the men at the shelter. We wouldn’t have career training and computer programs, special activities, or dental visits. Then I started to consider the hundreds of thousands of dollars raised by those who care and the subsequent lack of funding for our programs. By the end of the session we all agreed many people would be a lot worse off in their lives if people didn’t volunteer.

The question comes to me at a troublesome time in my life. Lately I spend large portions of my days fantasizing about my life without volunteering. I dream about what I would do if I selfishly didn’t lead my cub scout pack, volunteer at church, run events at my son’s school, and chair a city commission. I could work on my career aspirations and take time for my artwork while still having plenty of time for my family. My life would be all about me. But often the emails fill my box causing me to spend hours organizing and directing successful programs while my personal “to do” list lays unviewed.

At a pivotal point in my life, the boy has forced me to imagine every single part of our community without volunteers. I picture our church with only four paid staff and no one helping at worship services or doing youth service projects. I imagine my son’s teachers all alone in school without parents copying, making boards, and tutoring kids. How empty the halls would be without decorations and how much less the kids would learn. There would be no scouting. There would be no city commissions or programs at the senior center. The food drives and recreation programs would disappear. Our community landscape would be a dried up and barren filled with loneliness and suffering. No one would be living up to their full potential. This process has caused me to realize we all take volunteers for granted because it is impossible to fully picture a world without them.

Starting on October 25, 2009 ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox and several cable channels will air more than 90 shows with volunteerism written into the scripts. USA Today lists the programs participating in this i Participate campaign by the Entertainment Industry Foundation. Obviously all inspired by President and Mrs. Obama’s continuing emphasis on volunteering to serve, the initiative gives me some personal hope. If more people help, my burden will become more manageable. For the people who dodge their responsibilities or do the absolute minimum once per year, I hope they will be inspired to do more.

When we think about our lives and all the groups, activities, and programs which are important, we need to ask ourselves “What would happen if there were no volunteers?” If the program is meaningful to you, then you must bring your community to life.

Wow! I didn’t know what to say to this volunteer. We had just sat down to celebrate the success of my organization’s annual fundraiser, but these simple words meant so much more to me than the event.

He had lugged all his professional video equipment to three different [...]]]> “I know this is going to sound dumb, but I’m really going to miss all the emails, editing, and back-and-forth of working with you the last few weeks.”

Wow! I didn’t know what to say to this volunteer. We had just sat down to celebrate the success of my organization’s annual fundraiser, but these simple words meant so much more to me than the event.

He had lugged all his professional video equipment to three different locations to tape my interviews for our award winners. A friend of our organization had asked him to help. He’s an up-and-coming videotographer who produces videos for athletes seeking college scholarships. Our project demanded a substantial time commitment. He had to make sacrifices in his schedule to accommodate our taping. This was my first attempt at creating videos and he had obvious technical talent. Along the way we discovered that we were an excellent team. People from all walks of life were comfortable with us and the conversations produced meaningful footage.

I do a great deal of volunteering and manage many volunteers, so I’ve experienced it from both sides. I’m never in it for the glory or recognition. Since that evening, I’ve been thinking about what makes volunteering special. Why do people continually give of themselves? What makes me personally want to continue?

1.) The cause has to be meaningful. If a volunteer is not familiar with your organization, you need to introduce them. In this case, the volunteer had never been involved with the population served by my organization. The first time the two of us sat down together, I talked about what we did. I knew what impressed me and told him.

2.) A volunteer has to have support from others in their personal life. A parent praising the work or a friend already volunteering make a big difference. Since volunteer time commitments can impact family and socializing, it’s no small matter to make sure volunteers are encouraged by the important people in their lives.

3.) The experience needs to be fun. Recently a co-worker told me about working in a car assembly plant for three years. The experience sounded terrible but he enjoyed it because of the other workers. The task doesn’t matter but the interpersonal relationships do. My video guy and I compared notes on many aspects of our lives, our community, and our dreams. We became friends which made our success all that much better.

4.) You need to make sure the volunteer winds up having the time to get the job done. We only have so much time and sometimes our jobs or commitments change. Never assume or demand that a job be completed. Continually ask if the work is possible. Volunteers need to know that they can change the project or timeline to fit their schedule.

5.) Your expectations need to be reasonable. Since I didn’t know how difficult it would be to switch out certain footage or change pictures, I asked the volunteer what could be done on the tight timeline then respected his expert answers.

6.) Make sure the volunteer job is a good fit. Obviously, someone who creates videos for a living likes the job but sometimes people get tired of volunteering for the same duties they perform professionally. In this case, a wonderful variety of people were interviewed so the project was a tremendously different experience. We both were enlightened by the people we interviewed.

7.) Volunteers should grow either professionally or personally. My volunteer needed to overcome a strange sound problem near the end and he discovered a cutting-edge program to fix it. Any technical geek will appreciate this reward. The volunteer gained valuable knowledge that will come in handy professionally. Many volunteers talk about wanting to become better pubic speakers or learn a new communications skill. Volunteering can create safe environments to improve or discover hidden strengths.

Each experience bestows new insights, so I’m sure there’s plenty more to add.

Most of the time, it’s not easy to care. When you really care, you take action. For these types of issues, you are often in the minority. Others [...]]]> Last week I wondered. Why do I care about the historic preservation of a building? Why do I care if the affordable housing community is built? Why do I care that there are homeless people living on our streets? None of these outcomes will change my life directly.

Most of the time, it’s not easy to care. When you really care, you take action. For these types of issues, you are often in the minority. Others may care but not enough to take action. If you act, you feel like the lone voice in the wilderness.

Even if you do find like-minded supporters for certain issues, it’s still not easy. If you stick your neck out, the repercussions from a loud and angry crowd of NIMBYs can be devastating. When they resort to personal attacks or try to discredit you, caring can be painful. People tell me you have to be thick-skinned.

Nothing new here to those with any experience with campaigns or NIMBYs. But when it happens to you, it feels like the first time. It is new. When taken on a personal level, aggressive emails and public complaints feel like you are being bullied. Standing up to a bully takes strength. People tend to shy away from confrontation so the bullies, and NIMBYs, win.

Last Sunday I visited a church. The minister preached about what Jesus could have done with his life. He could have continued to heal all day or preach nonstop, but his ultimate actions resulted in a movement, Christianity. She talked about how two thousand years later we have many people preaching to others, healing in hospitals, and working for nonprofit institutions.

I’d never thought about my nonprofit career as a fulfillment of Jesus’ mission. Throughout my teen years whenever I prayed in church for guidance in my life, the message was always so clear and loud. You must help other people. I could never escape it.

When I decided to “stay home with the kids”, I swore I would not go back to nonprofit work. I have.

Along the way I spent all my free time volunteering to make my little corner of the world better – the schools, the scouts, the church, and the community. I can’t help myself.

Last week, I reported on a meeting where one side of an issue presented their response to the other side. Unbeknownst to me, many didn’t want that information out in the community. The person who made the presentation said my writing was accurate, but his opponents are trying to discredit my integrity and ability. That’s tough to bear since it’s not been done in public, nor in a way I can respond.

So, the minister’s words were comforting to me.

Rest assured that this experience does not make me think that I’m on some type of Christian mission when I volunteer or work. I wouldn’t be so bold or ignorant. I acknowledge two sides to every issue and portray both evenly. My training as a Philosophy major forced me to accurately portray arguments then analyze their strengths. Sometimes this meant admitting that the argument against my belief was stronger.

A force … a strength … pushes me each day and keeps me going, even when it is not in my best self-interest. This much is sure. Where it comes from may not be certain.

Love and caring does extend beyond personal interests. Why do you care?

At the end the coach called the team together. There must be more than 80 kids from 1st grade through middle school. He asked them to form a big circle and face in one direction. At first I [...]]]> Yesterday my boys went to their first practice for the track team. My oldest ran up a steep hill three times with ease. The younger one kept smiling and running with enthusiasm. I was proud of their dedication.

At the end the coach called the team together. There must be more than 80 kids from 1st grade through middle school. He asked them to form a big circle and face in one direction. At first I didn’t notice my two boys in the middle with their backs to me. I was chatting and joking with a fellow parent. We both noticed them at the same time. As I don’t sugarcoat anything about my kids, I blurted out, “Oh my gosh, look at my kids!” We laughed. I tried to decide if I should go across the field and into the giant circle and make them stand like everyone else. They were listening to the coach. If I went out there, I would draw attention to them and create a scene.

How can you not notice when everyone else is doing something? As kids we’ve all stood in a circle for games. You feel the energy surrounding you. Everyone is looking at you. How could you possibly not notice?

When we came home I asked them about it. At first it was crowded so they stayed toward the front and everyone else must have moved. That was it.

Have you ever noticed other people oblivious to a situation?

I was tempted to give examples like someone eating while everyone else at the table waits to be served or someone talking on a cell phone in a quiet room, but this is not rudeness. It’s something else.

When my father was dying, the complications from his diabetes worsened over a couple of years. As I describe the situation, you know he is close to death. He was blind. His kidneys had failed and dialysis wasn’t working. Gigantic calcium deposits the size of baseballs were all over his body. He was missing parts of his fingers and toes to gangrene. Doctors came in to examine him because they had never seen someone so far along. Each of these conditions was a small battle. They developed over years and he survived each one. He would get through.

His sister is squeamish and came to the hospital. I changed his socks as a matter of course. She ran out of the room. Down at the end of the hall she cried and told me I had to know he was dying. I didn’t know, not really. There had been so many hospital visits and he was only 50 and I just kept taking care of him. It took someone to tell me directly before I saw it.

The bar moves slightly and you adjust. This continues to happen and you don’t realize how much things have changed. My boys made an adjustment to where they were standing and never realized the true situation. We all just keep plowing forward in life. It’s easy to say we should take stock of our situations and notice if things are different, but there’s no guarantee we will. That’s why we need other people to understand and help us join the circle.

I tried to say I couldn’t take care of these kids for five days/six nights. All my friends knew I didn’t have the [...]]]> If you had asked me last week if I could survive three additional boys living with us, I would have said no. I’m not that kind of person. Deep down in my heart, I know for sure I am not that kind of person. If I was, I would have had more kids!

I tried to say I couldn’t take care of these kids for five days/six nights. All my friends knew I didn’t have the strength. I said I couldn’t do it but the mom called in desperation with no other options. She has another dream of this next best position and the mandatory trip required to be successful. I felt like I had no option and agreed.

On Tuesday, the day of arrival, I finally went to a yoga class. My goal was inner strength to center me for this ordeal. What I truly forgot about was the physical pain a new class brings. I didn’t know the class would be an hour and a half. The owner is a friend and I always meant to help out her business by taking some classes. Yoga at home when I feel like it is more my style. I’m not a “joiner” when it comes to exercise because I hate to exercise.

By Wednesday I was popping pain killers all day but I had inner strength. As a matter of fact, I completely surprised myself with my positive attitude and ability to handle it all – different drop offs, a preschooler again, some crying, no backpacks, nonstop requests, no socks or underwear, no long sleeve shirts in winter, no phone calls – everything. I was on a dedicated high and could handle anything.

Last night my head was killing me. I never sleep but I slept for eight hours and was still drained this morning. Some one’s eye was just hurt playing and they are yelling. Only two more days to go, but it is the weekend and there is no school.

Someone commented that I must be really good friends with her. As friends go, I would say that I am not. I just feel that if life had dealt me her hand, I would want someone to be there for me. I always admire how she never gives up. I’ve always been sure I could not be a single mom but really you need to take it one day at a time and hope for the best.