Another student and I had been training with [...]]]> “I didn’t expect for you all to become my friends … and give me a dinner like this.” My kickboxing instructor was leaving for a year. We came together with our spouses to say goodbye. After hearing so much about our families, we wanted to meet each other.

Another student and I had been training with her for about eight months. Her class grew by word of mouth. We were all out-of-shape folks who weren’t used to being fit. A community grew as we struggled along, barely able to complete each night’s training.

When I look around and see communities sprout, often there’s a negative element. People find complaints to rally around. They join together to stop an affordable apartment building or petition to close their street to their neighbors. They are fighting for themselves and blocking a better life for others.

In local politics, it’s a rare occasion to rally around something positive. Most of the time, people turn out when they want to stop something. If everything’s okay, you just keep going about your business with work, kids, and activities. Most people aren’t thinking about dedicating themselves to change the world for someone else.

In kickboxing we are learning how to physically fight, but we were also learning how to fight for each other. Our lifetimes of sloth left us unhealthy and overweight. None of us would workout as hard as we do without the others. When we sign up each month, it means everyone can continue and we don’t want to let the group down.

We’re all fighting our busy schedules, illnesses, and laziness to keep coming back. We’ve already proven we can’t do it on our own. If we lose even one person, we wouldn’t be able to continue.

We have a new trainer at a different gym, but we’re all still in it together. It’s wonderfully rare to fight for something good.

Wow! I didn’t know what to say to this volunteer. We had just sat down to celebrate the success of my organization’s annual fundraiser, but these simple [...]]]> “I know this is going to sound dumb, but I’m really going to miss all the emails, editing, and back-and-forth of working with you the last few weeks.”

Wow! I didn’t know what to say to this volunteer. We had just sat down to celebrate the success of my organization’s annual fundraiser, but these simple words meant so much more to me than the event.

He had lugged all his professional video equipment to three different locations to tape my interviews for our award winners. A friend of our organization had asked him to help. He’s an up-and-coming videotographer who produces videos for athletes seeking college scholarships. Our project demanded a substantial time commitment. He had to make sacrifices in his schedule to accommodate our taping. This was my first attempt at creating videos and he had obvious technical talent. Along the way we discovered that we were an excellent team. People from all walks of life were comfortable with us and the conversations produced meaningful footage.

I do a great deal of volunteering and manage many volunteers, so I’ve experienced it from both sides. I’m never in it for the glory or recognition. Since that evening, I’ve been thinking about what makes volunteering special. Why do people continually give of themselves? What makes me personally want to continue?

1.) The cause has to be meaningful. If a volunteer is not familiar with your organization, you need to introduce them. In this case, the volunteer had never been involved with the population served by my organization. The first time the two of us sat down together, I talked about what we did. I knew what impressed me and told him.

2.) A volunteer has to have support from others in their personal life. A parent praising the work or a friend already volunteering make a big difference. Since volunteer time commitments can impact family and socializing, it’s no small matter to make sure volunteers are encouraged by the important people in their lives.

3.) The experience needs to be fun. Recently a co-worker told me about working in a car assembly plant for three years. The experience sounded terrible but he enjoyed it because of the other workers. The task doesn’t matter but the interpersonal relationships do. My video guy and I compared notes on many aspects of our lives, our community, and our dreams. We became friends which made our success all that much better.

4.) You need to make sure the volunteer winds up having the time to get the job done. We only have so much time and sometimes our jobs or commitments change. Never assume or demand that a job be completed. Continually ask if the work is possible. Volunteers need to know that they can change the project or timeline to fit their schedule.

5.) Your expectations need to be reasonable. Since I didn’t know how difficult it would be to switch out certain footage or change pictures, I asked the volunteer what could be done on the tight timeline then respected his expert answers.

6.) Make sure the volunteer job is a good fit. Obviously, someone who creates videos for a living likes the job but sometimes people get tired of volunteering for the same duties they perform professionally. In this case, a wonderful variety of people were interviewed so the project was a tremendously different experience. We both were enlightened by the people we interviewed.

7.) Volunteers should grow either professionally or personally. My volunteer needed to overcome a strange sound problem near the end and he discovered a cutting-edge program to fix it. Any technical geek will appreciate this reward. The volunteer gained valuable knowledge that will come in handy professionally. Many volunteers talk about wanting to become better pubic speakers or learn a new communications skill. Volunteering can create safe environments to improve or discover hidden strengths.

Each experience bestows new insights, so I’m sure there’s plenty more to add.

The hostess came in the kitchen [...]]]> At a Christmas party last year, I was talking to someone I had just met in the kitchen. He had lived in our City his whole life and worked for the same company for over 20 years. Hearing first hand accounts of the olden days is something I enjoy immensely.

The hostess came in the kitchen and warned, “Oh, be careful talking to her. It will all seem good and you will be happy and she’ll talk you into doing something and you won’t even know it.” He won’t even know it? Apparently when I talk to people we share ideas and you leave excited to take some action. I will have tricked you into doing something you think you want to do.

(Now I’ll confess, I had just suggested that he and his wife attend an event I was planning. She was right.)

For over two months I have been thinking about this comment and how I interact with people. I don’t think I am pushy, but I get excited talking to people. I love talking to folks and finding common ground or new perspectives. I’m not judgemental and actually seek out different opinions. My goal is to always understand where someone is coming from and why they are acting or speaking as they do. I accept people for who they are.

So what does this mean in daily life? Do I inspire people to do things for the common good? The world is full of books and theories about how people should interact, how we can engage them, and what it will take. What does it take?

My experience always results in the same answer – personal contact. Reaching out to someone and talking works. In the conversation you can find agreement and a course of action.

Take for example the day I voted. I knew the person in front of me but had not seen her in almost five years. We recognized each other but didn’t remember names. Of course we did not admit we didn’t remember names but we didn’t.

She and her husband were making comments about the line to vote which wasn’t that long but usually there is no line at our voting place. There was some griping. I had to break up my sons who were arguing while we waited on this line I didn’t expect.

I could have just thought, “How terrible she is complaining.” but I didn’t. I asked where her kids were. They’re in private school so they had school that day. I explained that they really needed Election Judges to work the polls. They were short on volunteers. This is why there is a line and for the general election it will be longer. I always want to be a judge but can’t because I have no one to watch my kids who go to public school. They don’t have school on election days because we use the buildings to vote.

She said she could be a judge because she realized her kids would be in school for the next election. She laughed and it was so cool to see someone think about being part of the solution.

Personal contact is the way to motivate people to improve a situation. Judging people and complaining about them will not help. Although I have been worried about the impression I make on others, I don’t believe I’m wrong to help people see a different way and challenge their perspectives as I try not to bneg.

I’ve been talking to two friends who [...]]]> Today I went to vote in the presidential primary with my two sons in tow. One wanted the woman and the other one wanted the black man. I was undecided, which is highly unusual for me. I picked one yesterday, then stood in the parking lot and couldn’t decide.

I’ve been talking to two friends who were both undecided too. They were not enthusiastic about either candidate. One is a gay man and the other a Jewish woman. I’m a Christian woman for the record. Why were people turning out in record numbers? We weren’t inspired.

As I was voting I couldn’t vote for the candidate I had decided upon. I flipped. One son was happy and the other screamed loudly, “You’re voting wrong! Can I vote? You’re voting wrong, noooo!” He almost seemed like he was going to push me out of the way and take over.

It was music to my ears, and a bit embarrassing. He felt strongly about a candidate. He had been having 5th grade discussions at school. Parents had been encouraged to explain their thoughts on the Presidential election. He’s a cub scout. I put great emphasis on participating in public life. Always take them to vote with me and they always get stickers.

HE WANTS TO VOTE!

I’m hoping, I really am hoping that I’m raising them right. I want them to have opinions, feel free to express them, and vote. His frustration with me was terrific. Just six more years!